I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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