I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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