So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize