Porn is love you can see.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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