This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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