i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
