well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize