One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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