did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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