I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
