so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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