I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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