My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
