My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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