Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
