So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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