And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
