I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
