I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
