your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
