Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
