Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
