Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
