You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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