It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
