I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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