if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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