I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
