so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize