yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
