I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
