We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
