At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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