So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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