sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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