Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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