Duck Duck Cougar?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
