the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
