JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
