Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Randomize
