If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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