In the future we'll all be gay
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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