I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
