Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
