I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
