You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
