It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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