Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize