I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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