Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
