Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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