If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
