I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize