his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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