i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
