Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
