I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
