Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
